Loud and Clouded
by Hidden.Anonymous
Summary: Knowing how to make dazzling appeals for thousands to see? Piece of cake. But dealing with loud, contradicting emotions? That's bordering impossible. One-shot collection. Contestshipping.
1. Fear

**A/N:** To kick this off, I'm going to base these chapters off of emotions. Enjoy my interpretation of fear. And expect a lot of contestshipping. This one is less extreme then the others will be.

**Fear**

* * *

Throughout my sheltered childhood, I had many fears. One of those fears was a fear of the dark, or more importantly, what lurked in the dark. Whether it was a power-surge or the lights were being turned out as I was tucked into my bed, I felt certain that the second the lights were turned off, the monsters would come to life, intent of gobbling up little children like myself. All of these were faceless, soundless, and non-existent, but they were always the reason for my parent's increasingly-larger electricity bill.

No matter how many trips I took to my closet and under my bed, I still felt as though this was true. And even when I was told that there was _no such thing as monsters_, this didn't put my fear to rest. Every time I accidentally dangled a limb over the side of my bed, I snatched it back up, froze, and awaited the growling nightmares that I were sure would awaken at the sight of my flesh.

Of course, I grew out of this belief, considering that I have obviously not been attacked by said monsters.

Looking back at my childhood terror, I see it as a childish waste of energy. However, with a bit more maturity under my belt, I know now that it served as a catalyst to the process of learning true fear. Because back then, I was only beginning to understand what it was like to be truly, sincerely afraid.

* * *

"Does it really have to rain now?" I said to no one in particular as the slight drizzle began to come from the overcast sky.

"Blaze," Blaziken said nervously as he tried to shelter himself underneath a nearby tree.

"It seems like it's going to storm, and we're lost. Blaziken, return." The red flash erupted from the Pokéball, bringing Blaziken inside of it and out of the rain.

_Does it have to rain now? _I repeated in my mind.

After six years of traveling, I was lost in Johto. A simple training trip had gone terribly wrong with one too many wrong turns and no signal on my PokéNav. As the downpour got heavier and my clothes began to cling to my body, I decided to retrace my steps in hope of finding a way out of the enclosure of the woods. I began walking slowly, trudging through the underbrush that covered the abandoned trail.

Thunder boomed, followed by loud clashes of lightning, and I began to quicken my pace. Steadily at first, but when I heard the snapping of branches from various Pokémon, and the calls through the darkness, I began to sprint, not remotely caring where I was going as long as it was _out of here_. I hadn't noticed it at first, but I realized that my subconscious was reminding me of what I had most feared. I had convinced myself that monsters were chasing me alone through this forest, and I hadn't even thought of the word.

_I think I've found the reason I'll be needing therapy in a few years, _I thought to myself, trying to make myself smile instead of fear imaginary 'monsters'.

Finally, an old house I had seen earlier came into view. Hoping that it would be an acceptable form of shelter, I slowed slightly and carefully made my way for the house.

That's when I heard a loud crash, followed by what seemed to be a human cry of pain. I froze in my tracks upon hearing the terrifying sound of a Pokémon's angry roar.

_You don't have to turn around. It's perfectly fine if you just go inside and get dry, _I told myself.

_There is no such thing as monsters._

Another cry of pain, followed by another crash and roar. _Oh crap._

I started warily towards the source of the sounds, stepping as carefully as I had as a young girl, avoiding getting my feet too close to the shadows under my bed. My heart thudded in my ears and threatened to burst from my chest. I felt terrified of what I couldn't see.

Another roar interrupted my thoughts. This time, however, it was much closer. What in the world could create such a loud roar? Was it a Tyranitar?

_Do I smell something burning?_

I pulled apart the plants that blocked my view of the scene, my breath catching when I saw what had been concealed behind the trees.

Apparently a powerful smoke screen had recently been launched, because smoke clouded my vision. All I saw was a wounded Pokémon trainer lying on the ground in front of me, frantically glancing around the space and clutching his left shoulder.

Maybe it was the dirt and smoke that kept me from noticing who it was at first, but I still ran over to crouch next to the _stranger_.

"Are you alright?" I whispered as silently as I could over the roaring and rain.

The victim spun around to face me, eyes wide in fear and pain. _Wait, his eyes._ They were a bright, reptilian green. "May? What are you doing here?" he asked, losing his signature composure. "You're going to get yourself killed! Go, now, before – "

He was cut off by another large roar. I shook my head in disbelief as I attempted to grasp who it was that stood before me, injured and panicked.

But as I thought about how unlikely it was that he could be here, and that I must be in some sort of _nightmare, _I caught a glimpse of a scorched shoulder. This would explain why his green eyes were filled with pain.

My rivaling coordinator Andrew "Drew" Hayden was sitting before me in the rain, injured and soaked.

Another roar rattled through the forest. Thinking as quickly as I could, I whipped out a Pokéball. "Let's go Venusaur, use vine whip on a tree to draw… _it_ away from us!" I muttered as quietly as I could. The large green Pokémon erupted, sadly, a bit louder than I had anticipated, causing my breath to catch in my throat once more. My plan to create a diversion, however, went well. The long vines sprung from her back and slapped a tree across the space. The attacker turned towards the direction of the sound and trumped off into that direction.

"Let's go, Drew," I whispered, tugging at his good arm to get him off of the ground. "I saw somewhere to stay a while back." Drew looked into my eyes for a second before rising off the ground. It was intriguing to see him like this, to say the least. He was normally so composed, always sporting a smirk or a straight face, but now he had lost that. He looked confused, shocked, and scared, all of which were extremely out of character for him.

But then he blinked, hiding some of the raw emotion behind a straight face. He nodded slightly, rising from the soaked ground. I returned Venusaur to her Pokéball and began headed back towards the house I had seen, following the path of trampled greenery that had delivered me here.

"I saw an old house somewhere around here," I said, breaking the silence as we broke through the last layer of trees and into the clearing with the cabin. "We should be able to stay there for the night. It looked vacant."

Drew just kept his reptilian eyes trained at the ground and grunted in response. He was being so uncharacteristically quiet that I feared he was more injured than he appeared. The more practical side of my just said that he was embarrassed I had to come and rescue him and had a serious case of wounded pride.

Either way, I just remained quiet as well until we arrived in front of the door the cabin.

Surely enough, it looked abandoned. The door was locked, sadly, but the numbers that had once bared the address were worn and only showing two numbers. The interior shown through the slim windows on the side of the front door also looked dark and abandoned, but as if it hadn't been abandoned any more than two years ago considering it's more modern furnishings. It was odd that someone would leave a perfectly fine home like this, but I decided that it was for the best. Perhaps this was just a vacation home that no one's had the chance to get away to?

I tugged on the door to assure that it was locked. I muttered a slight curse under my breath as I wiggled the handle, as if it would just unlock if I continued doing so. Thankfully, the covered porch in front of the door provided shelter from the rain, but not the howling, bone-chilling winds that swirled around out soaked bodies.

"Um… Do you know how to break into a house?" I asked after a few futile attempts to will the door open. I turned to see Drew in the overgrown garden, on his hand and knees searching for something in a nearby bush.

"I may not, but I do know how to search for a spare key," he replied dryly, walking back over to the door with a rusted bronze key in his hand. He jammed it into the lock, opening the door. "You just had to jump to criminal activity, didn't you May?" I just gave him a half-hearted scowl, a part of me ecstatic that he was his old self once more.

I sighed in relief as I stepped through the doorway. The warm, stale air seemed to envelope me, giving me relief from the howling wind. Drew shut the door behind me, locking it again for good measure.

"Hello? Is anybody home?" I shouted through the seemingly-empty home for good measure. I would hate to walk into a room and have a family sleeping there. I set down the sopping wet backpack I had to upgrade to in order to hold supplies for my lone journey and looked around the small home. Or at least what used to be a home.

"I think it's empty," I said into the silence.

"What made you come to that conclusion?" Drew asked sarcastically, earning himself another scowl.

I wandered throughout the small rooms of the house, eventually finding myself in a bedroom connected to a small bathroom. I walked over to the queen-sized bed and brushed some of the dust off. I then went through the drawers of the dusty dressers, finding the clothes of what seemed to be of a married couple considering there was a set for both a man and a woman. They were also a bit too large for me and seemed as though they would be big on Drew. But, nonetheless, they would more than accommodate us for now.

I grabbed a soft outfit from the woman's dresser and walked back out into the living room, where Drew stood, appearing as though he was on the brink of exhaustion.

"There is a dresser with dry clothes in the bedroom. You should go find something to change into. You'll get sick like that," I spoke softly, my eyes locked on his injured shoulder. "I'll try my best to treat your shoulder once you're dry."

Drew nodded. "Thanks."

I gave a half-hearted smile and walked into the nearby bathroom to get changed. The bathroom was small, like the rest of the house, but it still had all of its accommodations. It felt odd. I had the feeling that no one would just leave a house like this; the towels were still neatly folded on the counter with little bits of dust covering them. With the clothes still in the drawers and the bed still neatly made, I began to wonder why they had just… Left? Had the people who had lived here died in the woods? Or was it the Pokémon that Drew had encountered that have killed them?

_They couldn't have just… Left, could they?_ I asked myself.

But my shivering got the better of me and I was forced to push the thought aside so that I could dry off and try to get warm.

* * *

I emerged dryer, warmer, and cleaner.

I roamed out into the living room with my bundle of dirty, soaking wet clothes trying to find something to do with them when I spotted Drew on the couch.

He was dry now, wearing a pair of pants that were a bit too big on him, but only holding his shirt in his hand instead of wearing it. I blinked a bit at this before I realized that it was because of his injured arm – a problem I had _almost_ forgotten about. With his body free of dirt and rain, I could see the injury much more clearly now.

The injury spread across the front of his left shoulder, leaving the skin red and blistering. The skin looked angry and painful.

To say the least, it was a lot worse than I had expected.

"If you're done checking me out, you wouldn't happen to have a bandage, would you?" Drew asked me, cocking an eyebrow.

"I think I have some… I'll go get my bag," I mumbled, walking over to my bag, setting down my wet clothes, and digging out the medicine I carried with me. Without Brock being around to carry a set of medicine, I had learnt that I needed to upgrade my bag so that I could carry things like medicine, food, and even a sleeping bag. It got a bit heavy at times, but it was extremely helpful at times like this.

I let out a sigh of relief when I found a burn heal and a roll of bandages.

I settled down onto the couch with both, feeling queasy as I got a closer look at the angry flesh.

_I'm not a doctor!_ My insides screamed. How could I help him? I can tell that he was already in a lot of pain, but how would I be able to do anything to relieve that pain? Burn heals are always a good way to go, but what if there was something else in my bag that could help him?

My fingers lightly traced the skin around the wound that was lucky enough to escape unscathed. Even though I never came in contact with the wound, Drew still winced slightly at the contact.

He was in pain. I couldn't just sit here and freak out when I could be helping him.

I took a deep breath, and got to work.

"This… Might sting a little, but it should help…" I said softly as I prepared to spray the burn heal onto his shoulder.

Drew just grunted in response, and so I let out a round of the mist. I heard him suck in air, but he relaxed slightly in the time following the round of medicine. The burn also seemed to get a bit better; the skin that had once been a bright crimson calmed to a less intense color.

I sighed in relief and let out two more rounds of the medicine before loosely wrapping his shoulder in a bandage.

"I think that's all I can do for now," I said once I had secured the bandage.

Drew stood, pulling the T-shirt in his hand over his head, covering his toned stomach. _Since when did Drew have muscles? _ When I had first met him, Drew was just a skinny, ten-year-old boy with about as much muscle as a Surskit. But considering how he is now a sixteen-year-old teenager, he has changed quite a bit. His biceps were becoming more prominent, and you could see the muscles of his abdomen now. He's also grown much taller; for a while, Drew and I were about the same height, but it seems as though he surpassed me over night. He was beginning to look much more like a man than an arrogant little boy. However, he was still an arrogant man.

"Thanks, May," he smiled slightly, his body far less tense now that the medicine had eased the pain.

I returned the smile in reply. "We should be getting some rest. It's pretty late now. You can stay in the bedroom, I'll just sleep out here," I said, grabbing a blanket off of the back of the couch and preparing to settle in for the night. I was truly exhausted.

Drew remained still and cocked an eyebrow as if I'd just said the most ignorant thing in the world. "May, you of all people should know. I may be a jerk, but I'm still a gentlemen. I'm not going to let to sleep on that dusty couch," he said with a mocking sense of disappointment in his tone as if he was saying, _'I can't believe you still don't know me after all of these years.'_ I fought back a scowl at his constant sarcasm.

"I'm perfectly comfortable here, Drew," I replied stubbornly, laying down on the couch for good measure. Sadly, the dust on the scratchy fabric of the couch flew into the air when I had lay down, causing me to spring back up into a sitting position in a fit of coughing.

This, of course, made Drew snort, practically chewing off his own lip in an attempt to hold back his laughter. "Whatever you say," he chuckled.

I waved away the dust in the air to avoid another cough-attack. "Well then, know-it-all, what do you suggest we do?" I exclaimed, putting my hands on my hips in an attempt to save the bit of pride I had left.

Drew turned around and peered into the bedroom. I watched as he scrunched his eyebrows together, as if he was mulling something over in his mind. After a brief session of what seemed to be internal-conflict, he shrugged and turned back to me. "The bed's big enough; I'm sure we can just share. It's late and I doubt either of us would be able to get any rest on the couch." He smiled. "I think you just proved that."

"Oh shut up," I said, rolling my eyes at his last comment. "If it's alright with you… Then I guess we can share." Even though I had known Drew for years, I had never had any intentions of sharing a bed with him. I'm stepping out of my comfort zone, to say the least.

But, nonetheless, we both retreated to the bedroom and made any final preparations for bed. The comforter on the bed did have a bit of dust settled on it, as did most of everything else. I dusted it off, remade the bed, and we both climbed under the blankets, staying as far away from one another as possible.

"Goodnight," I said softly as I felt my eyes getting heavier.

"G'night," he grunted just as my vision began to darken and sleep pulled me into unconsciousness.

* * *

I was running through the rain, tripping on every root and branch that littered the wet ground. My heart hammered against my chest and I could feel tears streaming freely down my face as I pulled myself up from the ground every time I tripped.

I was afraid; I had the feeling of being pursued. But I didn't know what was making me so afraid.

I tripped on another root, falling to the ground painfully.

"May! Come on!" a voice shouted from ahead. _Drew,_ my mind recognized his voice. I sighed in slight relief when I saw his familiar form standing anxiously about fifty yards away from me. But that brief glimpse of relaxation was quickly replaced with mind-numbing terror. _Why is he waiting for me? He's going to get hurt! _My mind was shrieking. I felt more terrified then I ever had in my entire life.

In an attempt to get us both out of danger, I tried to rise from the ground only to be forced back down by a shudder of the earth. With the last shudder, I lost my footing completely and fell to the ground. Hard. I winced in pain as I felt the warm trickle of my own blood on my face.

"May!" Drew exclaimed as he tried to come to my aid.

_Stop! Run away! Save yourself! _I wanted to shriek, but no words could escape my lips.

_CRACK!_ The deafening sound rang throughout the wooded area.

I heard Drew yelp out in shock when I finally made it to my feet. "Drew! Drew where are you?" I tried to scream, but my voice came out as nothing more than a whisper.

That's when I saw the crack in the earth. It was large, its depths reaching far into the earth.

I quickly approached the edge of the fissure as sheer terror and panic made my blood run cold.

I peered into the opening, assuring my worst fears. Clutching the edge of the crater walls was Drew, his green eyes squeezed shut and his teeth clenched as he tried his best to hold his grip on the edge. The icy hand of fear squeezed my heart painfully.

I threw myself to the ground in front of his fingertips and used both of my hands to grip one of his wrists. I used all of my might to pull upwards on the arm, and he used his other to try to push himself up onto safer land. _Please hold on Drew, _I prayed hopefully.

The weight on the arm I was holding increased suddenly, causing him to slip through my hands until I barely had a grip on hand. I looked down to see that he had slipped and was now dangling from one arm. The arm that I held in my hand. The arm that was slowly slipping out of my grip.

I tried as hard as I could to pull him up by myself, but his weight was too much for my sweaty palms to keep a hold of.

There was another painful squeeze of fear and time seemed to slow. Minutes felt like years when I felt my grip slide to Drew's fingertips, and my heart stopped beating when I was finally gripping air.

I looked into the fissure to see his green head disappearing into its depths. And I swore the whole time I heard him calling my name.

The cold grip got tighter and tighter until I couldn't breathe anymore. My vision slowly faded along with the pain until I drifted off into what felt like death.

* * *

I gasped, my eyes snapping wide open to view the small, stuffy room of the abandoned house. _I'm alright, _I thought, clutching my chest as if the hand of ice was still tugging at my heart. _But where's Drew? _I thought frantically as all of the memories of my nightmare rushed back to me.

I felt a warm hand on my shoulder and I turned my head to the side to see reptilian green eyes staring at my through the darkness, almost glowing they were so bright. _Bright and alive…_

I let out the breath that fear had been trapping inside of me.

"Must've been a pretty bad dream," Drew smirked. I glanced around briefly to see that I had moved right next to him while sleeping, closing the space that had once been between us. I returned my attention to him, almost wanting to comment on the fact that his hair was disheveled with sleep. _Almost._

But I didn't feel like playing his childish games right now. I was too busy reveling in the joy of knowing he was perfectly safe. He could've died earlier today, just as he had died in my dream. I hadn't even realized how tense with fear I was because of this until now.

I reached my shaky arms up and looped them around his warm neck, being careful not to touch his wounded shoulder. He didn't even seem to hesitate when his arms wrapped around me, pulling me closer. I rested my head against his chest, listening to the reassuring sound of his steady heartbeat.

The visions of the nightmare began popping back up under my closed eyelids, making me relive the fear of watching someone I cared about die before me.

I felt so afraid that it was painful. I felt as though I couldn't move and I finally experienced the true meaning of _paralyzing fear._

Not the insignificant fear of thinking there were monsters lurking, or that darkness was going to swallow me up. I realized that true fear wasn't a figure of your imagination, but was real and completely selfless.

I was terrified of losing someone that I was so close to. I knew that if I had lost someone that I _loved _I would never be the same again.

I let out a shaky sigh. "Yeah, it was," I mumbled in agreement against his chest, allowing the reassurance of his warmth to finally calm me down.

And with the pain of fear went the images of the nightmare.

* * *

**A/N:** I'd say that was a fair beginning to a set of one-shots? This is mostly a project to improve my writing skills, so I apologize if these begin with… Well, crap.

Yes, I know that a lot of what was mentioned remained unanswered. However, this is like a test-run to an idea that I had for a story. I figured it related to fear and that I should get it down on paper. I also realize that I could make ideas transition more smoothly, but I'll learn more overtime.

Also, please tell me if the characters are terribly OOC. I hope to get better and better at the characters as time progresses, but I could use some friendly suggestions. Emphasis on the _friendly. _

Meh, I'll have the next chapter up as soon as I have it written! Enjoy, and please, review! And tell me what emotion you would like next!


	2. Anger

**AN:**Hey guys! Let me just say that I am so sorry for the delay. I had a bit of writer's block and then life happened, as my author's note had said. If you hadn't seen it, it's not too big of a deal because it's gone now since I deleted it and replaced it with this chapter. But, enough delay for this emotion! Let's get to some Contestshipping and anger.

**Chapter Two: Anger**

* * *

_I didn't mean it. I didn't mean it. I. Did. Not. Mean. It. _

His mind shrieked as he searched for her. She couldn't have gone far, could she?

He knew that she was hurt, but did she really have to run off? And more importantly, how could she run so fast in her high heels?

He hadn't meant to hurt her the way he – apparently – did. She just misunderstood.

It was just after a contest – one that he of course had won – when she saw it.

* * *

It had been an after party. Now that everyone was getting older, they could go to things like that. Especially for bigger contests like this one.

Of course, Drew was cornered by his rabid fans. He would've found it annoying had it not been extremely flattering. He just saw it as a way to prove how attractive and talented he was. Not to mention famous. So he would give out the appropriate responses, sign _everything_ people had to offer, and pretty much just soak in the lime light. He was born to be a star which was why he absolutely reveled in it.

However, when he glanced over at May Maple – the first runner-up and whom he had come to the party with – she was looking quite uncomfortable in her crowd of people. She gave flustered responses unlike Drew's smooth ones, and absolutely refused to sign anyone's body-parts. Drew saw this as yet another reason she wasn't meant to be famous.

But he knew that he was wrong. May was one of the more amazing Coordinator's out there; she had beaten him more than he'd like to mention in contest battles.

He had no problem with May, although he did tease her incessantly, but that was just his way of keeping her aware. If she got too comfortable with her current level of skill he knew she would slip. Maybe it was better for her not to be comfortable around all of those people. As rude as it may sound, she needed to be insecure to succeed, it seemed.

Drew knew she had no reason to be insecure. She was amazing, and he would've thrown all of those people away right then to just talk to her; even if it would only be for a short while.

She was important to him. That much was evident as he spent the most of the night thinking about her and not paying much attention to his fans.

About an hour later, Drew was ready to go talk to May and done with answering stupid questions. But just as the crowd started to run out of things to say and things to be signed, a blonde young woman around his age – seventeen - had him cornered. She was pretty, but she had far too much black make-up on that clouded her blue eyes and had fried her hair in order for it to stay pin-straight.

"So you're Drew. Your performance was amazing today," she complimented him, her eyes roaming up and down his body. "My name's Alyssa."

"Thanks. And apparently you already know my name," Drew replied smoothly, even though the way her daggers of eyes scrutinized his every feature made him very uncomfortable. "It's nice to meet you, Alyssa."

At first it had seemed as though she wasn't going to say anything, so Drew tried to make his way over to May – who now sat at the snack table, stuffing a cookie in her mouth. He made a mental note to tell her that she should watch her figure.

Just as he began to walk over towards the snack table, Alyssa grabbed his arm, playfully pushing him back into his former space. "Why the rush?" Alyssa leaned in to whisper in his ear. "You're very… Dazzling on stage. I wonder if you can still do that off-stage?"

Instead of being the usual man and being perfectly prepared to _dazzle_ this seemingly slutty blonde, all he could make note of was the stench of under aged drinking on her breath and the stupidity of her pick-up line.

She pulled back, stumbling slightly in her blood-red stilettoes. Drew decided to play dumb with her. "I guess I would. If I had my Pokemon with me, that is."

Alyssa purred, seeing right through his façade. "I guess you'll have to do it without them." That's when she grabbed him by his shirt collar and pulled down until her lips met his.

Drew may have pulled back quickly, but not quickly enough. He heard a gasp to the right of him and looked over to see May, holding a half-eaten cookie in her hand and her wide blue eyes shining with unshed tears.

"May, wait, it's not-" he was cut off by the slamming of the door as she ran outside.

* * *

Drew began to slow as he made his way down towards the lake, looking for signs that she had been there. He trained his eyes at the ground as he walked, finally seeing a half-eaten chocolate chip cookie. Drew smiled, picking it up from the pavement, surprised that it was still whole.

He continued in the same direction, eventually coming across a small bench with a sniffling brunette taking up half of it.

Drew took a silent deep breath and walked up behind her, immediately feeling a wave of guilt when he heard her sobs. "You dropped something," he said in an uncharacteristically quiet voice.

She spun around with anger and hurt in her big eyes, grabbed the cookie he held out in his hand, and chucked it into the water, staying silent as the Magikarp tugged at it until it finally disappeared under the water.

"May, I'm sor-" Drew began.

"Save it, Drew," she snapped at him, not bothering to look him in the eye.

"It wasn't what it looked like!" he exclaimed, silently pleading to Arceus that she would believe him.

That's when she turned around, looking at him with a tear-streaked face and more anger then he'd ever seen her with.

"Then what was it? Because I think I know what a kiss looks like!" she was shouting now, not caring how loud her voice sounded against the silence of the night.

"She kissed me!" May shook her head, still not looking convinced.

"You didn't seem to mind very much when she leaned in and said Arceus-knows-what to you," she yelled, throwing her hands around in rage. If he had been a bystander, he would've felt sorry for the idiot who had made her this angry. Either that, or he would've wanted to kill him. But right now, he would've liked to disappear. "It's kind of hard to make someone taller then you kiss them, in case you don't know."

"She pulled me-"

"I don't want to hear it. Pull away next time," she let out an angry sigh and sat back down on the bench, her arms pulled tight across her chest. Drew carefully sat next to her, making sure that he didn't touch her. Not that he hadn't held her before; they had a complicated relationship. Neither of them seemed to really know what it was that they were. They had kissed – several times, even – and although he did leave snide remarks, he would punch a guy out if he were to hurt her.

How would he feel if he was in this situation with her?

Surely he wouldn't run off and cry, but he knew that he would punch the guy. That's pretty much expected – guys punched each other to settle their differences. It made things less complicated to just get it out of the way like that instead of running and maneuvering like girls tended to do. If you throw a fist, there isn't an elaborate plan. But with girls there always was.

"I'm sorry," Drew began once again. "I never wanted to hurt you and I never wanted to kiss that girl." May turned slightly to face him, her eyes had lost some of the anger and was replaced by vulnerability and an overwhelming sense of hurt.

He slowly wiped a tear from her cheek, as he had done several times before. "I fucked up," Drew admitted.

This at least got her to smile. "I don't like seeing you kissing anyone else," she admitted.

"I don't like kissing anyone else," he replied, wiping a tear from her other cheek as well. "The only girl that I want to kiss is you."

That did it. That totally cliché, romantic line broke down May's poorly-constructed wall. He pulled her into a kiss, reveling in the warmth of her soft lips.

She was the only girl he wanted to kiss. She was the most beautiful girl in the world through his eyes.

May pulled away only to bury herself in his arms. "I love you, Drew," she mumbled so that it was barely audible.

"I love you too, May."

* * *

**A/N: **I cursed! Rating changed. Uh oh. I know that this is shorter than my last one, but I think it's sweet enough, right? No? Ah well.

It may be a bit rushed as well... But I've been seriously busy lately with family troubles. I know I don't really know any of you, but my parents are splitting. So either expect more frequent updates, or less frequent updates. Haha, it could go either way!

I guess Drew was a bit OOC, but I'm not perfect… Yet. Stay tuned for the next chapter! And please tell me what emotion to do next!

- Anonymous


	3. Depression

**Chapter Three: Depression**

**A/N: **I'm actually a bit proud of this chapter. It's very, very sad, but I think I really capture depression. It is one of the emotions I can relate the most to. It is a bit rushed, but I didn't have much time before school started again for the week. You can thank Hurricane Isaac for his chapter, really.

* * *

May sat by the window seat on the train home that day, watching as the rain hit the glass.

She hated the rain – it made her miss the feeling of sunshine on her face and the bright blue that painted the sky, and how some days, it would mimic the color of her eyes. The rain took all of that away and it seemed to cast a giant, ugly grey shadow over all of the colors of the world. It made the skies dull, and the vibrant green grass appear dead and lifeless.

But despite all of her hate, she loved the color green. She loved how alive and lovely it looked on the swaying grass, and the rustling leaves in the trees. She loved how it always reminded her of the man with swaying grass for hair, and pools of emerald for eyes. She felt a lump rise in her throat at the thought.

"Blaze?" her Blaziken looked at her uncertainly from his place beside her. She realized that she had been crying, and angrily swiped a tear from her cheek.

"I'm fine." She knew she was lying. She wasn't fine, and most days, she never felt fine. It had almost been a year, or at least it would about a month from now, since the accident that took the lively green away from her. But with the green, everything else in her life seemed to be sucked away as well. She couldn't feel most of the things she used to. The joy of winning a ribbon was a foreign concept to her, because she knew at the end she wouldn't find that lovely, fresh-cut rose waiting for her, or the snarky remark that would fire her up and keep her determined to improve.

Sometimes she felt as though she had her own raincloud over her, taking away the colors until everything felt lifeless and grey. For a while she didn't understand why she felt so tired even with twelve hours of rest under her belt, or why she lost ten pounds because she was simply unable to stomach even the idea of allowing food to pass her lips. She didn't want anything else touching her lips – anything that could spoil the lingering feeling of the warmth that had once engulfed her mouth on cold winter days. Maybe if that was the last thing that her lips had felt, the feeling would always stay with her. She couldn't bear for it to leave.

Her family had worried about her in the weeks after the accident. She remembered the sting of walking into the family room and hearing the worried whispers of her mother and father, and sometimes, her little brother. She would never be able to hear the exact words of the conversations, partly because they ceased almost immediately after her presence was known in the room, and mostly because she didn't care enough to really listen.

They took her to a doctor a month after the accident, afraid that she was in serious danger. They feared that if the lack of food didn't take her, she would do it herself.

She had sat numbly throughout her diagnoses, only answering questions when it was impossible to avoid the questions. Even when the doctor talked to her parents about her mental state, she didn't pay attention. Instead she stared at the clouds outside of the window, as if that was what was most important right now and the adults concern was all in the background. To her surprise, she was able to remember the conversation later that night.

"She seems to have a severe case of depression," the faceless, nameless, and even genderless doctor had said to her parents.

Both of her parents sighed, not sounding at all surprised, but it was more of a defeated sigh. As if they were hoping that it was something wrong physically, and something that could be cured. "Is there anything we can do?" her father had asked, his voice taking a monotone voice.

"I would keep a close eye on her. She's damaged, and if you are careful, she should be able to heal in time." _Damaged._ Yes, that was the word she would use to describe herself. She was damaged, and still in the process of being damaged. Not quite broken yet, but it felt as though she was a glass plate given to a toddler, and no one helped her as he repeatedly slammed her down against the table.

There was one thing that she didn't agree with, however. She knew that she didn't simply have depression. Depression had her, and depression tortured her, and she knew that depression didn't have any intention of releasing her. She was too weak, too vulnerable. It would almost be impossible to escape now. Depression had already begun digging her grave.

Shortly after her visit with the doctor, she began to hear word spreading of a memorial service. _Drew's memorial._ She knew that his parents hadn't held an actual funeral for him, seeing as his body was burnt and even more damaged than she was. She felt a stab of pain as she thought of Drew, his emerald pools lifeless and alone in the dank, dark ground.

But she had never known they had planned a memorial in its place, and that was what hurt her the most. Everyone in her life danced lightly around her as if she was made of the world's thinnest glass, and she felt as though she was some days, but there were some things that she absolutely deserved to know. And a memorial service of the one person she would give anything to be with again, even for just a moment, was something she deserved to be able to attend.

She had confronted her parents about it less than a day after hearing rumors of it. "When were you going to tell me?" she asked, although she didn't make it sound like a question.

Her parents had both snapped around to face her in surprise, her father in the sitting room, and her mother preparing dinner in the kitchen. It had been at least a week since she had spoken more than a few words, and at least a month since she spoke without being forced to do so. "Tell you what, dear?" her mother answered her question with another, speaking softly and tentatively.

May had stepped back in the surprise of feeling her anger spike. She had stopped feeling a while ago, so the feeling of emotion felt new and painful. "About Drew's memorial!" she exclaimed, tears springing to her eyes at the sound of his name.

It was her father's turn to speak now. He rose up from his chair, placing that morning's newspaper on the coffee table, and walked slowly towards her. "We – we had though you didn't want to… Go."

Tears spilt over onto her cheeks now. "I'm going. I have the right to say good bye." She stormed out of the room after, leaving her parents to talk about her, just as they always did.

But she did go to the memorial. She made her parents take her, and she even made her mother go out with her and buy her a black dress. It wasn't anything spectacular, but the rest of her clothes had grown too big for her now sickly thin figure. It wasn't the dress that she was cared about, anyways. What made her really smile were the tiny emerald earrings that she wore with the dress. The tiny teardrop emeralds with a black frame Drew had given to her on her seventeenth birthday. With the earrings in, she was able to smile at the thin, sad looking stranger in the mirror. Her hand glided up to her ear as she gently tugged at the beautiful stone, and she felt the lump rise in her throat as the tingly feeling of warmth returned to her lips. It had been as if Drew was with her again, giving her the earrings after everyone had left the party, and kissing her as his second gift.

She knew that it was that memory that made the memorial service bearable. That and the old friends that were able to share her sorrow with her. She remembered her shock as a familiar red head and held her close, her face also shining with tears.

"Soledad," she had whispered, her voice weak and barely audible.

"I'm here, May. We have the gang back together for now," she choked out as Harley also came up beside her. They both looked so different now – Harley with his shorter hair and goatee, and Soledad's more womanly figure and face. May knew that she also looked different than she had a year ago, when she and Drew had gone off on their own, leaving the two of them. Her hair was now kept at an even length, and barely brushed her shoulders. Her face looked more sunken now, with far less fat on it. It was nice to see that Drew's death hadn't taken as much as a toll on Harley and Soledad as it had on her. Or at least if it had, it wasn't as visable

Soledad's sad eyes flew up to her ears, also remembering the day that she had received them, and smiled. "See? Drew's with us for today too."

That was when May lost it. She let out some of the anger and sadness that had been building up through her racking sobs, letting her salty tears pour down her face and onto Soledad's simple black dress. Harley also came over to her then and wrapped his arms around both young women. "We're always here for you, sweetheart. We're always going to stick together. Eventually it will get better," he had told her, his slightly feminine voice washing over her as though it was water and she was on fire. She pulled away, stepping out of the embrace and let a bitter smile come onto her face. "Thank you."

May had been the last one to leave the memorial service that day. She had felt so close to him that day, with so many of his loved ones around him, she didn't feel so alone. She felt as though she could share some of the suffering she felt with the others, even though it was an insignificant amount, she still felt the relief of having a chip taken off of the brick on her chest.

She even had enough strength to speak to Drew's parents that day. They had never been very involved in his life, but they were still his parents, and she could only imagine too well how much it hurt to lose someone you loved so much. "May?" his mother had asked as she approached the two of them. She just nodded.

"It's… Wonderful that you could make it," Mr. Hayden spoke after a long silence, not sure what to say. She just nodded again, but this time she forced herself to look the couple in the eyes, letting them know that they weren't the only one who felt such a loss.

Drew's mother started to cry, but through her tears, she smile. "Thank you so much. We know Drew loved you very much. Thank you for making his life a happy one."

When she returned home after the memorial, she felt a bit stronger. She even slept soundly that night, with Drew visiting her in his dreams, holding her in his strong, alive arms and telling her how much he loved her. Nothing else seemed to happen that night, she couldn't even tell where they were, but all that mattered was that Drew was there. As long as Drew was there, she knew that everything would be alright again.

And with the memorial and her dream adding to her strength, she took out her photo album the next day, flipping through the memories that each photo held. Most of the pictures were of her and Drew, even some with Harley and Soledad joining the two of them. She saw pictures of Drew in the middle of showing off a dazzling technique during a Pokemon Contest, and even of her, rose in hand, showing off her newest ribbon.

She was unable to finish even the first five pages of the photo album before the weight came down on her again, smashing her happiness to the ground. _This would never happen again. You'll never see him again._

She collapsed to the ground and cried again, but as she learnt over the next few weeks, crying was good. Crying chipped away at the brick that weighed her down. In a world of grey and torture, her tears contained colors, and for every tear that hit the ground, some of the color began to bleed back into her world. As color returned, so did hope. And when she had a hopeful day, she knew that Drew would reward her with a brilliant dream. Sometimes with just him, and sometimes a memory she got to relive with him.

It was those rewards that kept her hoping, and forced her to begin eating again, and eventually, training with her Pokemon again.

It was a long seven months after Drew's death that she entered her first Pokemon Contest. It was hard and painful, but she did it. And even though she didn't win, it made her smile to feel close to him again. She even wore his earrings for the contest.

She filled the hole Drew had left by practically smothering her brother with attention. She helped him with any problems he had with school, Pokemon training, and eventually, girlfriends. He became one of her best friends, and that was one of the reasons she was able to pull herself out of depression's cold grasp.

One day, shortly after Max's twentieth birthday, her brother had asked her something that looped the last stich around her wound. "Do you think you'll ever stop missing Drew?"

The question had caught her off guard for a moment, and she even pondered on whether or not she should answer him at all, but eventually she knew that she had to tell him the truth. "I don't need to. He'll always be with me, and one day, I'll be with him once again."

Years passed, and slowly, she healed. Never entirely, and she would still have bad days, but she lived again. Every year she put together a memorial service for Drew – every single year for six years until Drew's father grew ill with cancer and died. And at age twenty-eight, she attended Soledad and Harley's wedding as head bride's maid without a single tear.

She became a well-known coordinator in Hoenn and she remained top in the standings until age thirty-one, when she became pregnant. Even though she never told the father, who she had no way of contacting, she saw the child as a blessing.

She couldn't help but cry after her child's birth, for she had given birth to a beautiful, healthy little boy. She had a son with wonderful, soft brown hair and the most gorgeous emerald eyes. She knew that the eyes had been from the man she had a one-night stand with, but she still liked to think of him as Drew reborn. She didn't name him Drew of course, seeing that it would be too painful and horrible to name someone you had so much hope for after the man that had changed his mother's life so much, both for the best and worst. But instead she honored Drew through the boy's middle name.

As she aged and her son grew up, she told him stories of the brilliant man that shared his middle name. She even took out her old photo album, telling all of the stories each of the photos held forever. She later wrote down notes on the back of each picture, to be sure that they were never forgotten. And when her son married and his wife gave birth to a wonderful little girl, May passed down her emerald earrings to her son, making him promise to give them to her wonderful granddaughter when she was old enough. He also received her photo album, filled with short stories to share with the little girl about her grandmother and the love of her life.

May died at an old age, passing away peacefully in her sleep. She even dreamt of Drew leading her away from the material world that night, erasing the signs of her old age, and taking her back to the time when she had been with him. And where she would remain with him for the rest of forever.

* * *

**A/N: **My heart feels heavy. I'll write something fluffy and nice next time, I promise!

Disclaimer: I do not own the Pokemon series or any of it's characters.


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